Thursday, September 25, 2008

Last Night....

My oh my! Tonight is the last night to sleep at the Haven for Bethany and me-we will then be headed a little ways north for some debriefing time with Anja and her family. All day as I went about packing and planning for our goodbye time tonight, I could tell the tears were just under surface. I wonder about tomorrow!

Today Mandy and I locked the dining room doors and decorated for a special evening. So that meant for lunch and dinner we all ate outside, which was actually really fun! Anything out of the everyday is a real sweet treat for the kids and for us!

For tonight we had a sweet time. We had our very last Bible Study tonight in which we washed all the children’s feet, telling them that Jesus had done this before leaving his friends and that he wanted to show them how to love one another. We then talked about how he gave His Holy Spirit to live in each of us so that we are able to do so. Afterwards we let all the kids come into the dining hall where each had a plate of popcorn, apple and some sweets. Candles were lit in little glasses of colored water. We watched video that we had recorded and a picture slide show. It was a good time. Hard to say goodnight though!

It is hard to think of leaving these kids. It is hard to know that I am another person walking out of their life! Today I had a really sad conversation with little Miss Desiree. Sometimes she will get so stiff and quiet. Today I sat with her during one of those times. The conversation was definitely led by the Holy Spirit because how was I to know what she was thinking. I knew she was probably sad that we were leaving, and she was. I knew it was for her like when she lost her mother. I began to talk to her about how I had lived without my mother too and how God really became my very best friend. I told her all the ways he has been my everything. Then we got on the subject of heaven. She said she doesn’t want to go there. I told her the other alternative is hell and described just a little of it is awfulness. She understood, but still wanted to go there. Suddenly I knew why. I asked her if it is because she thinks her mom is there. She nodded yes. What was I to say? I asked her why she thought her mother was in hell. I asked her if she thought her mom didn’t know Jesus. She nodded that this was the reason. I told her that is something between a person and God, that no one else can know for sure. I told Desiree that she doesn’t know for sure that her mom is in hell and how sad would she be if she went there and it turned out her mom was in Heaven. I told her that even if her mom was in hell she would tell Desiree to go to Heaven. She is mad at God because she thinks God let her mother die. I reminded her of Adam and Eve and about how this world can be so awful, but that isn’t what God wants. He is only good. She didn’t want me to pray for her. But I told her for as long as I am alive I will be praying for her. Even if I never see her again I will be praying for her. I told her that her choice to not love God does not stop God from loving her. Please pray. It is a spiritual battle. I have seen her hateful and I have seen her on the flipside soaking up every word of God with joy sweeping across her countenance. She needs Jesus!!!!

I love you guys!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I will be praying for your hearts and for the hearts of the children as you and Bethany depart....
much love, Cait

Nichole said...

I am so sad for the kids that you are leaving. I know how hard it must be on you. But, just from what you wrote (and I know a lot more happened), I can see that God has done amazing things there!! Time sure does fly doesn't it?? Good you are doing de-brief! Love you!

Anonymous said...

Hi Amanda,

Your work with these children is incredible and it does my heart good to know that you are doing God's work with such conviction. The thoughts of the girl wanting to go to hell because she thinks her mom is there is probably a common delima of thought for many who have lost loved ones that may have not accepted Jesus before they died. Fortunatly we have the option to change the course for our decendents by chosing Jesus.
In Deuteronomy we are told to chose life and that it will affect us and our seed.

Deuteronomy 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Your choice long ago to follow Jesus is affecting the lives today of many whom you may never meet or even know about. Your work at the orphanage is one example is how you have planted that seed in Miss Desiree and the others in ways that will reverberate and impact greatly for the good of God's kingdom.

God Bless you honey.
Love,
Dad